a girl should not be up this late or she may fall back into insomnia. but these familiar hours feel so good and clean and untouched, i almost want to go back to them, like old friends. they always understand my frustrations or sadness or manic joy that tends to come with tiredness and love it. it feels good to know that if i stayed up for a few more hours, i could see the sun come up out my window again. but with these good things come also the bad, and since i have been on stabler ground since i reinstated sleeping to my life, i am hesitant to find again all those dark things that come with these dark hours.